Monday Night Roundup: I Hate Triple H

I get it.  Triple H is the “biggest threat” Undertaker’s ever faced.  He’s a future Hall of Famer for sure.  A 10-time World Champion.  He’s one of the best wrestlers of the past twenty years, that’s been established.  He doesn’t need to keep squashing young talent to drive the point home.  No one watching Raw thinks that Ted DiBiase can stand toe-to-toe with the WWE’s fortunate son, there’s no reason to prove the point by having Trips demolish him to open Monday Night Raw.

This was the second time in three weeks that Hunter Hearst Helmsley has completely dismantled a young gun for no reason.  It really irks me.  It’s not helping him get over – he’s already as over as over gets.  It’s not making him look like a more serious threat to the Undertaker’s streak – that thing is never going to get broken.  All it’s doing is suppressing wrestlers for no reason.  DiBiase wasn’t exactly setting the world on fire to begin with, but having the Game crush him like this has solidified his spot at the bottom of the card.  In the past eight days, Sheamus has won the US Title, beat the IC champ, and crushed Evan Bourne.  And you know what I think of when I look at him?  I think of him being destroyed by Triple H two weeks ago.  Beatings like that do a lot to hurt a wrestler’s standing, and I can’t wrap my mind around why WWE is feeding these guys to Hunter.  Oh well.  Maybe someday, in a perfect world, these mindless oppressions will cease to exist.  But for now, don’t you dare forget for an instant that Triple H is the most powerful wrestler in the world.  Sigh.  The rest of Raw after the jump.

• While on the topic of putting young wrestlers down, John Morrison was pinned by Vickie Guerrero last night.  Yep.  JoMo was originally booked to go one-on-one with Dolph Ziggler, but after some interference, the match was amended to be a 2-on-4 handicapped match pitting Morrison & Trish Stratus against Ziggler, LayCool, & Vickie.  If given twenty minutes, I’m sure Ziggler and Morrison could put on a clinic, but it seems destined never to occur.  After Dolph hit the ZigZag on the Prince of Parkour, Vickie scored the 3-count, and Morrison’s downward spiral continued.
• Randy Orton’s match with Rey Mysterio was cut short when CM Punk popped on the big screen, standing outside of Randall’s tour bus and threatening to enter and do harm to his wife.  It was a really strange setup.  Earlier in the night, Orton cut a promo talking about how important this bus was too him, and if that sounds forced and nonsensical to you, you’re not alone.  Anyway, when Randy ran back to check on his beloved vehicle, Punk clubbed his knee with a wrench and stomped his head onto the cement.  After the attack, Punk blew a kiss to Randy’s wife, who held her husband’s head and screamed for help.  It should be noted that Punk had a red dot on each of his palms, a sign of the stigmata, further enhancing his Messiah gimmick.
• Sheamus beat Evan Bourne with the Brogue Kick after a failed Shooting Star Press attempt.  This one was kept short, and neither guy looked especially good as a result.  Post match, Daniel Bryan said he’d like to invoke his rematch clause at WrestleMania, and was promptly kicked in the head for his troubles.  Looks like a US Title match is penciled in for the big event.
• For the second consecutive week, Michael Cole was given the 10 o’clock hour to trash talk Lawler.  This week’s segment was nowhere near last week’s in terms of effectiveness, with Cole basically just insulting Lawler’s family.  In the end, The King ended up in the Ankle Lock.  For what it’s worth, Cole opened the show dressed as Jim Ross too.  I get that he’s a good heel, and that he has a ton of heat, but this has gotten a little ridiculous.  The Lawler/Cole rivalry is getting more TV time than anything else going on in the company.  When you’re focusing more on a feud between commentators than one between title contenders, there’s a problem.
• Eve Torres went over Maryse in a match that Michael Cole did his best to put an end to by talking over it to the live crowd.  This was a throwaway match, an obligatory inclusion of the divas on the card.  I really don’t understand why Eve is the Divas Champion.  She’s not involved in any feud, she has no personality, no alliances with anybody, marginal wrestling skills, and shallow as it sounds, it’s not like she’s the most attractive woman on the roster either.  She reminds me of Amy Webber or Joy Giovanni – an expendable diva who no one would notice was gone should she disappear.
• The Corre retained their Tag Titles with a victory over Santino Marella & Vladdy Kozlov after a 450 splash from Justin Gabriel.  Another squash match.  Noticing a trend?  After the match, Big Show & Kane hit the ring and got some retribution against Barrett and company.  Looks like it’s going to be The Corre vs Big Show, Kane, Santino, & Kozlov at Mania and I’m fine with that.  Let’s hope they still find a spot for Kofi Kingston on that crowded card.
• The newest video package hyping the Triple H vs Undertaker match was nothing short of ridiculous.  They talked to a lot of legends in it, which was cool, but the opinions offered were just insane.  Arn Anderson says that Undertaker winning at 18 WrestleManias is like a team winning the SuperBowl for 18 consecutive years.  We kidding?  Crazy talk.
• In the closing segment of the show, “Miztory” was made when The Miz unveiled a new WWE Championship, which is the same as the existing title with the exception of the W being inverted to become an M.  John Cena, who was attending Raw via satellite from his “home,” interrupted the Miz’s ceremony, revealed that he was in the arena all along, announced that his home was the WWE, and stormed the ring.  He took out A-Ry, but the Miz was able to escape pretty much unscathed.  Kind of anti-climatic for the ending of the show two weeks before Mania.

That’s Raw in a nutshell.  The longest match on the show was 4 minutes even, and two matches were under 2 minutes in length.  The whole show was kind of flat in my opinion.  A-Ry working for the Miz again invalidates the cage match from a couple weeks ago.  I’m beyond tired of the Triple H vs Undertaker and Lawler vs Cole feuds.  This is usually my favorite time of the year to be a wrestling fan, but I’m actually looking forward to getting past Mania this time around.  Oh well.  At least we got this cool new belt?