So, Disco Inferno was on Impact this week. Mr. Anderson, reprising his imitation of the early 90s Sting, welcomed Disco onto his in-ring talk show, the Scorpion Sitdown. Anderson explained that he was hosting the show because that’s what washed up wrestlers do, and since Sting is washed up, it was appropriate for him to join the club. Say what you will about the inherent silliness that goes along with the picture above, but the segment was actually pretty solid. Anderson is transitioning from the role of a tweener into that of a strict heel, and he’s doing a fantastic job as such. Disco Inferno, meanwhile, provided a real laugh-out-loud moment when he called Mr. Anderson a dick on his own trademark introduction microphone, which prompted a “dick” chant from the Orlando crowd. In the end, Anderson savagely attacked the dancing fool and was chased off by the real Sting, retreating through the crowd. This was in no way the main attraction on a pretty decent Impact this week, but I had to lead with it – The Disco Inferno is back, people! Burn, baby, burn!
The rest of Impact, including Brian Kendrick’s X Division crusade and a finger poke of doom, following the jump.
- For the first time that I can recall, Impact opened with a wrestling match. There was no promo of any kind, no Mike Tenay rambling, nothing beforehand – just the opening video leading into immediate in-ring action. If this becomes a hallmark of Impact Wrestling, they’ve worked their way into my good graces. At any rate, the opening contest saw AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels earn a victory over Bully Ray & Tommy Dreamer, and this was about the most exciting of an opening match as you’ll find. The four men brawled throughout the arena, using weapons galore, aerial maneuvers, and some solid teamwork. Ray & Tommy work well together as the antagonizing tormentors, and I was happy to see them target AJ’s injured neck. The good guys took the win with a double team spike piledriver.
- A new Television Champion was crowned when Eric Young duped Gunner by promising to lay down for him and then going back on his word. Young referenced the infamous finger poke of doom incident when describing his plan. When the time came for the strategy to be executed, however, Young countered Gunner’s pin attempt, officially winning the TV Title. I’m not a big Eric Young fan, but I prefer him to Gunner in the role of the TV Champ. It’s hard for me to see Gunner as much more than an Immortal drudge, so the belt seems wasted on him. I’d much prefer the strap eventually find itself around the waist of a more suitable champion though, someone like Robert Roode or Hernandez.
- Hogan & Bischoff are the most irritating characters in professional wrestling today. I’m not crediting them with being good heels – I think they’re both just genuinely unlikable. Every time Hogan mentions having a great mind for the business, or Bischoff makes reference to an X Division guy being too small to be a star, I know there’s a little part of them that believes what they’re saying, and it drives me nuts. Hogan hasn’t contributed a thing to the wrestling community since his ascent to the top, and Bischoff struck gold with the nWo years ago but outside of that lone angle, has never had any idea of what wrestling fans wanted to see. The fact that they still have jobs in the industry is infuriating.
- After the aforementioned stinkers cut an in-ring promo with Mick Foley in which the return of the Ultimate X match at Destination X was announced, they were interrupted by the obscenely underrated Brian Kendrick. Kendrick demanded an X Division Championship match with Abyss, which Hogan promptly granted him. I don’t care that I’m outrageously bias towards certain wrestlers, this is my blog and I’ll tell you what I want to – Brian Kendrick is one of the best.
- Kendrick pulled the job to Abyss in a pretty solid match. I would have preferred the contest never take place rather than see Kendrick lose, but hey, at least he continues to garner some much-deserved spotlight on a weekly basis. Prior to the match, Abyss was attacked by Kazarian, and I sort of take issue with that. Abyss didn’t sell the attack during his match, nor did it affect the outcome, so what was the point? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have Kazarian attack him after the closing bell to avoid making Kendrick look extra-weak?
- Mickie James beat Winter in standard Knockouts fare, though she was attacked by Angelina Love afterwards. Love seemed to be set off by the sight of Winter’s blood, and it looks like she’s going to be playing the role of a very protective bodyguard of sorts for Winter. I tip my hat to TNA for successfully transitioning the brainwashed Angelina out of her feud with Velvet Sky, although I still have to imagine that the conclusion of this zombie angle will be a disaster. I’m enjoying it while it lasts nonetheless.
- It looks like there’s going to be a Devon vs Pope feud brewing based around some words Pope had for Devon’s family. I have my fingers crossed that this gets dropped. The Pope is one of the worst characters in wrestling, and despite Bully Ray’s effective transitioning into singles competition, Devon hasn’t been so lucky. There is nothing about this potential rivalry that I can speak favorably of.
- Jeff Jarrett stole a victory from Matt Morgan after Scott Steiner interfered. The match was nothing special. Morgan dominated most of the way, but with Karen Angle distracting the referee, Steiner interfered on Jarrett’s behalf, ultimately influencing the outcome of the match. The site of Steiner is comedic at this point; he’s gone so far past horrible that he’s almost worth keeping around just to enjoy a laugh at the expense of. That being said, it would be a travesty to ever book him in a win again, especially over a younger talent.
- ODB blames Velvet Sky for her firing months ago, citing the fact that she was let go because she didn’t look as good as Velvet or the other Knockouts. Welp, she’s got a point there. At one point, ODB mentioned Velvet’s “big silicone” enhancements, and no lie, the camera just settled on a closeup of her chest. Not complaining, just observing.
- The main event saw Kurt Angle pin Rob Van Dam after an Angle Slam. The match was solid from end to end, and the Jarretts were tolerable on commentary. I really hope that RVD doesn’t fall into obscurity now that his World Title feud is behind him, although I really don’t see any other place for him to go. As for Angle, with his upcoming match with Jarrett being for the #1 contendership, I feel like we’re finally on the verge of ending this tired feud.
I was a fan of this week’s Impact. Honestly, I think opening the show with a match went a long way to set the tone for the rest of the event. I don’t want to get too optimistic hear, but maybe TNA has finally turned a corner. Meanwhile, that’s two wrestling show’s I’ve enjoyed this week. What is this world coming to? Here’s hoping the trend continues with Smackdown tonight.
I want a two hour Iron Lady match between Madison Rayne and Ms Tessmacher!
There are no words strong enough to express my support of this notion.
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