TNA Impact Reactions: Ms. Angle

Here’s a list of a couple things Scott Steiner did on Impact last night:

• Practiced his putting with a brightly colored golf club that looked like one that would be purchased at Toys R Us.
• Told us “That’s why the moon goes down at night!”
• Threw what appeared to be handfuls of brown paper napkins into the air after provoking Matt Morgan.
• Used the phrase basketball player as an insult three times in ten seconds.

I didn’t include ramble incoherently, have a stupid tattoo, or dress like a douche on the list because I assume they go without saying at this point.  Come on, TNA management, take the camera out of this guy’s face.  If, for whatever reason, you think that he’s a draw, keep using him.  But for the sake of your audience, stop having him cut promos.  When a video of his speech last night hits the internet, I’ll be sure to run it here – it needs to be seen to be fully appreciated.

An ongoing theme on last night’s show was Karen Jarrett’s search for Kurt Angle’s mistress.  The show opened with her interrogating a lineup of knockouts (and randomly inserted “backstage workers”), and the mystery surrounding the mistress’s identity was talked about for the duration of the show.  Honestly, I hope this resolves itself soon.  I don’t really care who the mistress is, I’m sure the results will be disappointing, and we’ve already got one mystery ongoing in the form of the identity of the network.  Enough is enough.  The rest of Impact beyond this jump. 

• Sting retained his World Title in a triple threat main event, defeating Mr. Anderson and Bully Ray en route to the defense.  Anderson had initially challenged Sting to a one-on-one match, which the champ accepted, but Hulk Hogan added Ray to the mix.  Sting was able to steal the victory when AJ Styles hit the ring and reaped some revenge against Ray, which was a welcome event in my book.  I’m a big fan of AJ Styles and an even bigger one of Ray’s current Bully character, so I’m certainly happy to watch a feud between the two of them.  I’ll be curious to see what becomes of Anderson while Sting works his current program with Rob Van Dam.
• Speaking of Sting and Anderson, there was a pretty dumb angle earlier in the night when Mr. Anderson arrived in his “beloved” truck.  Sting, obviously, took his baseball bat to it later in the show, which led to a confrontation between the two.  My problem here is that this truck has never been acknowledged before, has not once been mentioned, but suddenly, for the convenience of the angle, we’re told that it’s one of Mr. Anderson’s favorite possessions.  It reminds me of Randy Orton’s tour bus that CM Punk wrecked a few weeks ago – and that was dumb too.
• Angelina Love (with Winter) was able to best Velvet Sky and should be patted on the back for doing an awesome job with this brainwashing angle.  Angelina is playing the role perfectly; her blank stares have been great and she really seems distant all the time.  This story might be a little corny, but it’s one of my favorite ones currently going on in TNA.
• Samoa Joe and the undefeated Crimson wrestled to a no contest when Abyss interfered.  Oh hallelujah, hallelujah, the Joe vs Pope feud is over!  Praise and testify!  It looks like it’s going to be Abyss vs Crimson at Sacrifice, and my support will be firmly behind Abyss.  I’m not crazy about undefeated streak angles, especially ones involving sub-par wrestlers.
• Mickie James thanked the crowd for all of their support through the years.  It was a nice little speech, but it was unessential for progressing anything.  I’m happy for her, though.
• Anarquia nabbed a victory over Chris Sabin with some help from the rest of Mexican America.  Post-match, Super Mex and his boys continued the beat down, but Alex Shelley ran out to make the save!  The Motor City Machine Guns stand tall to end the segment, and it was great to see them back together.  Today’s tag team landscape is pitiful, and I hope they keep the Guns together.  Unfortunately, it looks like Sabin could be injured (not sure if it’s a work or not), but hopefully he won’t miss anytime.
• Gunner went over Christopher Daniels to retain the Television Championship.  The match was pretty good, and for the first time, I’m pretty impressed with Gunner.  I don’t know what he’s doing with the TV Title, but he looked good none-the-less.

As always, Scott Steiner was a train wreck and the Jarrett’s were boring.  The rest of Impact was pretty all right though.  I’m ecstatic that it looks like we won’t be subject to any more Joe vs Pope nonsense, and Angelina Love’s feud with Velvet Sky is really entertaining.  Great to see the Machine Guns back together too.  Lastly, I’m sure you already know this, but Bully Ray is the man.