Every week I watch Impact and am amazed by how much it reminds me of WCW. This week, the sensation was exceptionally strong. That’s probably because Sting delivered a Scorpion Death Drop to Eric Bischoff, stared down Hulk Hogan, and an intimidated Hogan cowered away. We’ve all seen this one before. At any rate, these events followed Hogan’s invitation to Rob Van Dam to join Immortal and Sting’s plea for him not to be swayed to the powers of the dark side. RVD didn’t give an answer, but I think it’s safe to assume that he’ll be remaining babyface for the foreseeable future.
The rest of Impact was one long hype package for Sunday’s Lockdown, which is perfectly acceptable for the company’s go-home show. The show featured a best-of-three series between members of Immortal and Fortune to determine which team would have a one man advantage in their pay-per-view match. In a surprising twist, Immortal took both of the first two matches, completely voiding the importance of the show’s main event. It was just as well, though, since the closing match had no decisive winner, naturally. The main event featured Mr. Anderson taking on an Immortal Gauntlet. Anderson had been attacked by Immortal during the show’s opening, so he was pretty banged up heading into the match. That didn’t stop him from making short work of Murphy, Rob Terry, & Television Champion Gunner though, disposing of all three of them with Mic Checks. Anderson’s final opponent was Bully Ray, who attacked the referee in the middle of their match, resulting in a no contest. Ray teased powerbombing Anderson off of the stage, similar to what he did to AJ Styles a few weeks ago (and Mae Young way back when), but Hogan interrupted and said he wanted to do the honors. Hogan set Anderson up for a powerbomb but…wait…seriously? Are we to believe that 57-year-old Hulk Hogan, back brace and all, is capable of executing a powerbomb off of the Impact Zone’s stage without inflicting more damage to himself than anybody else? Really? Anyway, Sting and his bat appeared and chased off the heels, Mike Tenay credited Sting for “saving Mr. Anderson’s life,” and the staredown you see above ensued. The rest of Impact, for your bulleted reading pleasure, after the jump.
- In the first match between Immortal & Fortune, Matt Hardy defeated Kazarian with the double underhook grapevine submission that he busted out on AJ at Victory Road. It’s apparently called the Ice Pick now, because he’s so Cold Blooded and all. The match was pretty decent, and I’m happy to see Matt not being buried because of his brother’s actions. I’m not a big fan of either Hardy, but I can admit that Matt is still an all right onscreen presence despite his online antics.
- The other Fortune vs Immortal match pitted Beer Money Inc’s James Storm against the Monster Abyss. Abyss took the victory with the Black Hole Slam, and the match was solid if not spectacular. As noted, it was a little shocking to see the same team win the first two matches, but it was unpredictable, so that’s good. Immortal will hold a one-man advantage at Lockdown.
- Former BFFs Velvet Sky and Angelina Love look to be done as a team. Velvet called out Angelina, demanding that she explain her recent actions, but ended up being DDTed onto a steel chair for her troubles. Angelina was in her zombie state for the duration of her attack on her former partner, and Winter appeared on the ramp to summon her back after the beatdown was complete. This angle is pretty ridiculous, but hey, there’s room for ridiculous in wrestling sometimes. I’m digging it.
- This Sunday’s Lockdown will feature Angle vs Jarrett, Samoa Joe vs The Pope, and Matt Morgan vs Hernandez, so a 6-man tag team match previewing those bouts was in order. The team of Jarrett, Pope, & Hernandez won after
Elijah BurkeD’Angelo Dinero drilled Joe in the back of the head with some brass knucks. I always hate the obligatory “singles matches for the PPV previewed in a tag team match” promotional tactic, but I can see the argument for its effectiveness. Nothing to write home about here, though. - Jeff & Karen Jarrett, being pursued by Kurt Angle, were in the midst of a swift evacuation from the building when Karen realized she didn’t have her purse. She refused to hop into the get-away car and insisted on going back for her lost bag. When she was cut off by her ex-husband, Jeff Jarrett drove away without her. Seeing her chase after the car was kind of comedic, in a slapstick kind of way, but there was some horrific writing in this segment, namely Karen’s unreasonable concern for the purse.
- Orlando Jordon was the winner of a 4-way match that also included Douglas Williams, Crimson, & Jesse Neal. All four men had their Lockdown partners at ringside, most of whom became physically involved. Abyss hit the ringside area and chokeslammed Crimson onto a piece of guard rail, which played a part in determining the winner. It was a breath of fresh air to see some cohesiveness being practiced on a show that usually scoffs at the idea of continuity, with Abyss harboring a grudge against Crimson from a while back.
- Madison Rayne cut a promo expressing her lack of regret for running over Mickie James last week. She reminded Tara who the boss was, and threatened her should she ever question Madison’s decision making again. Just as it looked like the two were about to get into it, Mickie James’ “Hardcore Country” blared and out she came with a sling on her arm. Yep – run over by a motorcycle, and she winds up in a sling. James, who I sometimes forget is pretty good with a microphone in her hand, told Madison Rayne that her time was up at Lockdown. Surprisingly, this is one of the matches I’m most looking forward to at this Sunday’s show. I’m torn on who to root for – I’d normally be pulling for Madison, but in this instance I’m a little conflicted because I’d hate to see Mickie lose her hair. In the end though, my money is on the reigning champ.
The last Impact before Lockdown was exactly what you’d expect it to be: one long ad for Lockdown. It was a pretty effective ad though, and there are a couple matches I’m eagerly anticipating. While I feel like the Angle vs Jarrett and Pope vs Joe feuds are about as tired as can be, Hernandez and Morgan have managed to hold my interest. As stated, I think the Knockouts match should be pretty good too. I’m looking forward to the reveal of who’s turning heel in the Fortune vs Immortal match (somebody’s gotta!), and it’ll be nice to put all of the Sting / Anderson / RVD drama behind us. The 4-way tag match still seems a little pointless to me, but it’s lameness should be outweighed by the awesomeness of the Xscape match. Anytime the Young Bucks or Brian Kendrick are in action, you have my undivided attention.
