Monday Night Roundup: A King's Burial

Sheamus did not have a good night on Raw.  Triple H opened the show by cutting a snoozer of a promo on The Undertaker, talking about his opportunity to end the streak while completely ignoring that he already fell victim to it ten years ago.  It was at the conclusion of this monologue that the Celtic Warrior approached the ring, surely to remind Triple H of just who put him on the shelf for so long.  What followed was a complete and utter burial of King Sheamus.  Triple H manhandled the 2-time WWE Champion, eventually tossing him out of the ring and Pedigreeing him through the announce table.  This was not a brawl – it was as one-sided as it gets.  Immediately following the massacre, Evan Bourne returned to Raw and defeated Sheamus in under a minute.

I’ve heard that there’s some heat on Sheamus backstage, and that Raw Producer Kevin Dunn isn’t a fan of his, but this kind of treatment is counter productive to a successful product.  The WWE is presently struggling to establish new main eventers.  Alberto Del Rio is in a WrestleMania main event, and Wade Barrett and the rest of the NXT rookies have ascended the card at an alarming rate.  With such emphasis being put on the use of young talent in big matches, why squash a recently established main event player this severely?  Lord knows Triple H didn’t need this to get over with the crowd.  The only thing that this segment did was discredit one of the only formidable top tier heels on Raw.  This kind of booking is bush-league.  Sadly, the rest of the show was no better.  The weeks leading into WrestleMania are always an exciting time to follow WWE television, but this year WWE is doing a fine job of driving me away.  The rest of Raw, along with Ring of Honor, recapped and reviewed after the jump.

• I’ll wrap up Ring of Honor first, which featured the same number of matches as the 2-hour Raw.  “The Prodigy” Mike Bennett, Michael Elgin, and Andy Ridge all advanced to the next round of the Top Prospects tournament, defeating Adam Cole, Bobby Dempsey, and Grizzly Redwood, respectively.  In the main event, “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels successfully retained the World Television Title against Kenny King after connecting with the Angels Wings.
• On Raw, Michael Cole accepted Jerry Lawler’s WrestleMania challenge with two provisions.  The first being that he gets to have his own personal trainer in his corner for the match, the second being that he handpicks the referee for the contest.  His trainer was introduced tonight as your favorite former World Champion Jack Swagger, who hit the ring and promptly locked King in an ankle lock.  Cole’s handpicked referee remains unknown, and I welcome your speculation in the comments.
• A set of stipulations were presented for the Randy Orton vs CM Punk match at WrestleMania.  In the coming weeks, Orton will wrestle each member of Nexus.  Any member who is able to beat The Viper will be in Punk’s corner at Mania; any who fail to win will be banned from ringside.  After the announcement, Orton was able to eliminate Michael McGillicutty from the equation by beating him with an RKO.  After the match, McGillicutty was given a punt for his troubles.  My first inclination is that Punk will walk into WrestleMania on his own, but it’s not out of the question that Mason Ryan accompany him I suppose.
• The Miz and Cena worked an in-ring promo together, and it was your typical stuff.  Cena calling his WrestleMania opponent gay, The Miz saying that he’s awesome.  In the end, the evening’s main event was made: a steel cage match between Cena and Alex Riley.  Should Cena win, Riley would be fired as The Miz’s assistant, and should Miz win, Cena would have to declare Miz awesome on next week’s Raw.  None of this was funny, as it was intended to be, and none of it made me want to see them wrestle any more than I already had.
• There was a Divas Battle Royal featuring most divas on the roster.  It lasted exactly two minutes.  A Bella won after the patented Bella switch.
• The Rock, who two weeks ago promised he’d never leave the WWE again, comes to us live via satellite, and has yet to appear at a WWE event since his initial return.  The Rock mocked Cena and rapped back at the WWE’s current poster boy, calling him a Yabba Dabba Bitch.  The promo was effective, I guess, and the crowd was into it, but it definitely fell short of the ones that The Rock and John Cena cut over the past two weeks.
• In another taped segment, Shawn Michaels offered his thoughts on the Undertaker vs Triple H WrestleMania match.  There was nothing insightful here, and it seemed like a bunch of filler.  He’s rooting for Triple H (duh), and wishes he was able to beat The Undertaker last year (shocker.)
• Daniel Bryan’s music hit, and I immediately rejoice that Raw will feature at least one decent match.  Half way to the ring, Bryan is attacked by The Miz, who throws him into the barricades a couple of times and then hits the Skull Crushing Finale.  UGH.
• John Cena defeated Alex Riley in a steel cage match that was far too boring to recap.  You could only win by escape, no pinfalls or submissions, but the match had a referee anyway.  The Miz tried to help his buddy throughout the match, but the unstoppable John Cena was too much and eventually escaped out the door.  Once he was out, Miz hit the SCF on him too.  I guess Alex Riley will be fired next week in a segment that will probably drag on for too long and contribute nothing to the show.

This was the most disappointing Raw in a very long time.  There were four matches on the card, three of which combined for less than ten minutes.  In the remaining time, there wasn’t even one outstanding promo.  Triple H’s speech was OK, but overshadowed by the mindless squashing of Sheamus.  The Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler angle took up too much of the show.  The Miz and Cena’s segment was predictable and boring.  The Rock’s promo seemed insincere and phony being broadcast via satellite instead of being delivered live.  Undertaker still hasn’t been heard from since last Monday.  There were no redeeming qualities on this show.  It’s like WWE got tired of TNA imitating them, so they retaliated by imitating TNA and produced the most promo-heavy pointless show they could.  This was inexcusable.