TNA Impact Reactions: So, you signed Sting, eh?

Yesterday, TNA’s official website promised that Impact would close with the most shocking announcement of the year.  What it actually closed with was a video almost identical to the 2.21.11 promos that WWE aired leading into last week’s Raw.  This one had the date 3.3.11 attached to it, and all logic dictates that it’s an indicator Sting will be showing up on next week’s Impact.  While I guess it’ll be nice to see the man they call Sting back on the show, I’d hardly consider it the biggest shock of the year.  The only reason that his prospective return was exciting a month ago is because he’s never wrestled in WWE before, and WrestleMania is on the horizon.  The thought of the Stinger stepping into a ring on wrestling’s grandest stage for the first time is exhilarating – the thought of him coming back to a show he last appeared on just four months ago, not so much.

And if I thought for one minute that TNA’s decision to run a 2.21.11-esque promo was meant to mock or parody the WWE, I might be able to enjoy it.  However, I’m of the staunch opinion that they’re simply trying to take advantage of the buzz that the WWE created.  Nothing more.  And that’s disappointing.  If you believe otherwise, that this is supposed to be a jab at Vince’s company, I welcome the discussion.  The actual video of the 3.31.11 vignette, along with a rundown of the rest of Impact, after the jump.

In case you missed the “year’s most shocking announcement” video package, see it for yourself right here.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLxjcgSGGkA]

Onto the rest of Impact…

• Mr. Anderson and Rob Van Dam opened the show with an in-ring confrontation.  Van Dam, steamed about Kennedy’s lack of proper officiating last week, has a bone to pick with the former World Champ.  The two bicker then brawl, only to be interrupted by Eric Bischoff.  The main event for this evening is announced as RVD vs Anderson vs Angle for the #1 contendership to the World Title.  The segment was nothing to write home about, but it was no train wreck either.  A sufficient opening for the show.
• This week, we’re treated to glimpses of Jeff & Karen Jarrett preparing for next Thursday’s wedding ceremony.  This was nowhere near as nauseating as their date from last week, but it wasn’t as fun to watch as Daddy Jeff with Kurt’s kids two weeks ago either.
• Gunner & Murpy defeated Orlando Jordon & Eric Young in tag team action.  This match was contested for the sole purpose of getting Gunner & Murphy over for their tag title shot at the 3/3 edition of Impact, and was pretty predictable as a result.  There was a spot where Eric Young and Gunner bounced off the ropes running perpendicular to each other across the ring for entirely too long.  It was like watching a dragging Family Guy joke that doesn’t know when to end.
• In a truly bizarre segment, Devon Dudley came out to apologize to his boys for involving them in his feud with Bully Ray.  Enter Ray, who is backstage slapping around some guy we’ve never seen before.  He refers to the man as one of Devon’s brothers, and threatens to do to him what he did to Terrence & Terrell.  I feel like there’s a kind of underlying racism permeating this situation.  Anyways, Tommy Dreamer of all people comes to the man’s aid and brawls with Ray out into the Impact Zone.  Devon gets involved, accidentally hits Tommy, and that’s a wrap.
• Crimson made short work of Magnus.  The match was back-and-forth for the two minutes that it lasted.
• For whatever reason, management allowed Scott Steiner to speak publicly again.  Thankfully, Rob Terry put an end to that and choked him with his own tie until security pulled him off.
• Ric Flair did his best JBL and cut a promo about being a wrestling god.  AJ Styles interrupts, naturally, as the two are booked for a match against each other.  They take their turns yelling at each other, and Flair finally slaps AJ, leading to a brawl.  Hernandez hit the ring to assist the Nature Boy.  The way this was booked, Hernandez wasn’t too intimidating.  Styles continually tossed him aside to get to Flair, treating him as more of an annoyance than a threat.  Before the segment was over, Matt Morgan showed up and got a piece of his former partner.
• Madison Rayne made an open challenge that was accepted by the returning ODB.  The crowd ate the return up, but their cheers weren’t enough to help ODB pull this one out.  Madison Rayne won in what was a pretty good match.
• The New York Jets’ Bart Scott and Jersey Shore’s Angelina will be at next week’s big Impact.  Joy.
• Mr. Anderson won a decent triple threat match to become the #1 contender to Jeff Hardy’s World Title after Immortal appeared on the ramp to distract Kurt Angle.  I felt like I was watching a 2005 broadcast of Smackdown during this match.  It was fun nonetheless.

If the purpose of tonight’s show was to raise excitement for next week’s big 3/3 episode, it failed to do so with this wrestling fan.  Neither “celebrity” booked for the show is interesting, the Jarrett/Angle wedding story is tired, and Sting’s return doesn’t exactly have me counting the minutes until Impact begins.  But hey, maybe they’ll surprise me next week.  TNA offers just enough to keep me believing it COULD be something I enjoy eventually while simultaineously enraging me with terrible story lines.  And honestly, that 3.3.11 video is just embarrassing.