Fixing Mania, Part II

Ryan Gillon of seriouslyryan.com gives you his dream card for WrestleMania 27, complete with argument and analysis of each proposed match:

We all have our dream matches, our dream cards… that’s what it means to be a wrestling fan. I think it would be quite difficult to be a true aficionado of sports entertainment without a pretty wacky imagination…

…so these dream matches can be pretty out there sometimes, and understandably so. As a result, I tried to make this card as semi-realistic as possible, with a couple of swerves here and there. What I can tell you is that this list would be entirely possible to act out if two things happened. One, the Rock would have to be willing to return to the ring for one last match and two, Vince McMahon would have to give me complete creative control. I’m almost certain neither will ever happen, but… here’s to dreaming.

Without further adieu, I give you my dream card for the 27th edition of WrestleMania.

The Rock vs. John Cena

The man they call Dwayne Johnson made it clear that he has wrestled his last match in a WWE ring, but this opportunity is golden, it’s almost too good to be true. We talk about dream matches so much more often than we ever see them. The WWE all but killed the chances of this matchup when Cena won the Raw Elimination Chamber match on Sunday night, but his nostalgic use of his degree in thuganomics on Monday night gave us all hope.

If they can get Rocky to come out of retirement for just one night, this match could be one of the greatest faceoffs in WrestleMania history. The Rock will always be able to captivate an audience, and John Cena and the WWE proved on Monday that if they want Cena to be over with the crowd, they can make it happen.

Now make Rock-Cena happen… and watch the buyrate for WrestleMania go through the roof.

The Undertaker vs. Wade Barrett

A lot of people want to see Sting against the Undertaker at WrestleMania. Call me crazy, but I have no desire to watch a battered and weathered ‘Taker look across the ring at the 51-year old Steve Borden, also known as the man called Sting. It doesn’t do anything for me. Truth.

Wade Barrett is the right man to face the Undertaker at WrestleMania. The bare-knuckle fighter seems like a great candidate to go toe-to-toe against the man with the seemingly untouchable 18-0 winning streak at the granddaddy of ‘em all.

WWE Championship Match – The Miz vs. John Morrison

Aside from Rock-Cena, there is no match I want to see more. I watched these two grow as a tag team and I am pleased with Miz’s push in the company. On the other hand, I am also incredibly irritated with how John Morrison has been used in the better part of the last two years.

There is a natural storyline here with their history together. With the WWE Championship at stake, it would represent a true changing of the guard… a real sign that the company is ready to take that final step in pushing the group of talent that deserves their turn to shine in this business.

And for the record, I would have had Morrison win the rumble to set this up.

World Heavyweight Championship Match – Edge vs. Christian

This really goes along the same lines as Miz and Morrison. I think the WWE needs to respect the memory of the average wrestling fan a bit more. This rivalry could be used to reel the jaded wrestling fan back in, as well as create new fans in the process.

Christian hasn’t been granted a real chance to shine in the WWE, but if anyone can pull the most out of him, it’s his best friend. This program would be up there with ones that you wouldn’t forget anytime soon.

Intercontinental Championship – Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

The Intercontinental Title used to be known as the “workhorse” built. Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels come to mind here. Kingston and Ziggler are rising stars who have some impressive in-ring ability to compliment them.

This would be a great wrestling match that you would remember for the wrestling, but it would also provide some insight into two men who arguably have main event potential if used correctly.

Plus, when is the last time the Intercontinental Championship has been defended at WrestleMania? Unbelievable

United States Championship – Daniel Bryan vs. Evan Bourne

It would steal the show, hands down. Probably the two best in-ring workers in the company. The creativity and ability these two men share would create an instant classic.

WWE Tag Team Championship

Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel vs. The Hart Dynasty vs. Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes

This company needs a tag team division. They need to stop breaking up teams every twenty minutes.

Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith are useless as singles wrestlers. Championships need to be important again, and the nonexistent tag team division needs new life again. This would be a start.

You need to put DiBiase and Rhodes back together. DiBiase is drowning in a pool of mediocrity, and Rhodes may have just enough upside to carry his old partner back into relevance.

HHH vs. Sheamus

The company needs to follow through on this storyline, because right now, they aren’t. And they need to put Sheamus over Stephanie’s husband so this guy can get some legitimate respect from the younger, more impressionable members of the WWE Universe.

It’s time for The Game to be over in my book, but after the overwhelming reaction he received on Monday night, sometimes I think I have to eat my words. But that’s the thing, when someone like him still gets that reaction, every guy he loses to can become a “made man”.

The company made the decision to push Sheamus over a year ago, it’s time to follow through on that decision… for realsies.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

They’re doing everything right with this storyline right now, but consider what I am about to say…. Punk may be the one who makes Orton look good through this whole thing, and not the other way around. Keep watching, you’ll see.

Fatal Four Way

Big Show vs. Ezekiel Jackson vs. Mason Ryan vs. Kane

Get all the oversized stiffs in the ring at once instead of scattering them throughout the card. Put over Ryan and Jackson in the process as Big Show and Kane pass the torch, and the match should go over well enough. One fall to a finish to make a typically boring foursome rather exciting.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match

• Raw – Alex Riley
• Raw – Skip Sheffield (as a face)
• Raw – Yoshi Tatsu
• Raw – R-Truth
• SD – Alberto Del Rio
• SD – Jack Swagger
• SD – Rey Mysterio
• SD – Drew McIntyre

You can’t throw this match away. This match historically makes mid-carders into main-eventers. This is where I would have Del Rio win… (remember in my dream world, Morrison won the Rumble)

So there you have it… 11 matches, and here’s what you would get out of it.

• The return of the Rock, and the immortalization of John Cena
• The changing of the guard as Wade Barrett is passed the torch
• The chance for Miz and Morrison to finally shine
• Christian’s opportunity to prove Vince McMahon wrong by showing he can main event
• Prominence brought back to the Intercontinental Championship
• A show-stealing instant classic from Bryan and Bourne
• The rebirth of the tag team division
• HHH finally losing to someone (another passing of the torch)
• A great story as told by CM Punk, with the assist from Randy Orton
• A ring full of WWE giants, old and new, in a match interesting enough to keep your attention
• A Money in the Bank match with four first-time performers on wrestling’s grandest stage.

That doesn’t sound too shabby, does it?